![]() ![]() ![]() In January, you will find a £20 note you previously believed lost at a time it is extremely convenient to do so, and will then have to spend a slightly irritating afternoon replacing all the bulbs in your car. The frequency and amplitude of the luck wave will gradually increase over the course of the year. Taurus: Your luck this year will take the form of a sine wave consisting of dizzying highs and crushing lows. As your flailing arm reaches through the hole, you desperately claw for any purchase, and all you find is a postman handing you a Wickes catalogue. Within a few days, you have to claw your way through your own roof to escape a postvalanche. Every day you will be increasingly trapped in your home, first by the endless queue of Royal Mail lorries filling your street, and then by the ever-growing drifts of other people’s gas bills, bank statements and embarrassing letters from the hospital about that problem with their arse that they really don’t like people to know about. Aries: In an interesting new cost-cutting measure, the Royal Mail will entirely abandon the concept of delivering unprofitable post such as letters to their intended recipient, instead putting the whole lot through your letter box. ![]()
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